Dr. Gloom

They were never my thing, really. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice car, a 2002 330ci. And I'm getting a good deal! I've been driving a 1992 Jeep Cherokee with 200K++ miles since 2000. Before that, it was an 87 Nissan/Datsun Maxima station wagon. And that's in Los Angeles. You would think I'm in line for an upgrade.

I'm not so sure.

Am I a yuppie? No. Am I unaware of the Holocaust? No. Have I done anything to deserve a nicer car? Not really.

But times change. Expectations change.

You get judged. People notice. They notice your car even more than they notice you.

How does this play into my decision-making? Actually, not much.

I've been in a nice car before. You can heat up the seats, and arrange them every which way. A sunroof you can open and close with a button-toggle fascinates me. You can see the digital readout of your radio frequency, PLUS, you have a CD-changer. The sound from your speakers doesn't cause a volcanic echo through your dashboard. Goodbye, cassette tapes! That's good shit.

So I like nice cars, I just never bought one. Now is the time I succumb.

I hope it gets me laid. And respect from the valets.

Because that would be worth it.