Thursday, June 21, 2007
I am no smarter than a 4th grader, tops
I was just watching "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader" hosted by mega-gajillionaire redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy.
"Pastor Ben" had a chance at $500,000 and he got to see the next question, risk-free. The question was:
"Who is the Greek God of wine?"
Pastor Ben is a holy man, so what does he know about alcohol, I think.
I know the answer is "Bacchus." I'm sure of it. I wish I had the chance to win $500,000, maybe a cool million. I would have let it ride. No more "cheats" from the kids - he's already used them all up. I was confident still. I think: "Bacchus. I know because I went to Mardi Gras." I went to Mardi Gras like 4 years in a row, until my then-girlfriend showed her tits and made out with some dude while I was waiting for her at a St. Charles Circle parade. My so-called friend took pictures. That kind of ruined Mardi Gras for me.
So Pastor Ben takes the money - $300,000 - instead of risking the question. I think, "Dumbass."
And then Jeff asks, "What would you have guessed?" Or something to that effect.
Pastor Ben says, "Dionysus" (although he mauled its pronunciation).
I get swoony and the board shows up: "DIONYSUS"
Bacchus must be the Roman version.
Mardi Gras could have cost me a lot of money, in addition to an exhibitionist girlfriend.
"Pastor Ben" had a chance at $500,000 and he got to see the next question, risk-free. The question was:
"Who is the Greek God of wine?"
Pastor Ben is a holy man, so what does he know about alcohol, I think.
I know the answer is "Bacchus." I'm sure of it. I wish I had the chance to win $500,000, maybe a cool million. I would have let it ride. No more "cheats" from the kids - he's already used them all up. I was confident still. I think: "Bacchus. I know because I went to Mardi Gras." I went to Mardi Gras like 4 years in a row, until my then-girlfriend showed her tits and made out with some dude while I was waiting for her at a St. Charles Circle parade. My so-called friend took pictures. That kind of ruined Mardi Gras for me.
So Pastor Ben takes the money - $300,000 - instead of risking the question. I think, "Dumbass."
And then Jeff asks, "What would you have guessed?" Or something to that effect.
Pastor Ben says, "Dionysus" (although he mauled its pronunciation).
I get swoony and the board shows up: "DIONYSUS"
Bacchus must be the Roman version.
Mardi Gras could have cost me a lot of money, in addition to an exhibitionist girlfriend.
# posted by Dr. Gloom @ 8:51 PM 
