Dr. Gloom

Beecher was the greatest cat to ever roam the apartment-scape of Los Angeles.

I know other people may think their cat is/was the greatest cat ever, but that's not my fault. I always write off that opinion to ignorance, a la "Well, they never met my cat, Beecher." Because he was clearly the greatest cat ever in the history of cat-kind.

And I know a lot of people think guys who like cats are gay. I'm not gay, but go ahead, haters. Cast your aspersions. Laugh until your ADD Black Lab thinks you're choking, and calls 911 on your behalf. Like they're so freaking smart.

Beecher could have out-scored Vince Young in the Wonderlic. Easy.

Beecher solicited attention by meowing. Can a dog solicit attention by meowing? I don't think so. I mean, I don't think dogs can meow. They can bark, sure, but who cares about that? As they say intelligence circles, a dog's bark is just "noise."

It's not that I don't like dogs. I do. And the non-attack type of dogs seem to like me back.

But Beecher, he was one of a kind. Rest in peace, buddy.